Okay readers, so I've been flooded with emails from all about the ending of my last post concerning my "forgiving" Jordan "ex-fiance for his transgressions. Let me explain something ... when I say I forgive him it's not to mean that I'm taking him back. Those of you who know me know that I"m a stronger person than that. What I mean is that I'm letting go of the hurt and trying not to dwell any longer. I'm letting go of that and of him. Like many of you have expressed, I do deserve better and am excited to know that my "special someone" is still out there looking for me. For whatever reason I'm going through this I feel I will come out stronger and a better person on the other end. I"m thrilled about that envitibility!
To forgive all DOES NOT mean that I approve of what's happen and what he did to me. I'm simply letting go and letting God deal with him. Unfortunately for me, since this has come out I've been messaged by not only friends of Jordan's but some of his ex woman also revealing other transgressions. For example, I've been told that Jordan propositioned an ex of one of his really good friends during Halloween... of course this proposition came after Jordan had proposed to me. I'm in disbelief! It's incredibly surreal. This proposition included, "I've always been attracted to you and I'd love to get together for a Halloween party". Luckily this girl had enough sense to turn Jordan down. I've talked with this girl and she confirms everything.
If there was any hope, at all, in my mind that maybe Jordan and I could work things out it's all gone. Too many stories have been told and confirmed for me to even consider something like that. Sure I still have love for him however it's fleeting.
One of Jordan's really good "girl - friends" sent me a Facebook message the other asking if I feel if I"m getting what I deserve? For those of you reading this, if you'll look back to some of my earlier posts you'll find that I started this blog because I'm going through a transition in my romantic life - a true redemption. Yes it's true that I cheated on all other S.O.'s in my life however the difference between my situations and what Jordan did to me is I told the truth and was upfront. So Brooke, in some way yes, I do feel like I may be getting what I deserve. However, Jordan will to.
Here I thought after being proposed to by Jordan that he'd given me my redemption, but I see my redemption has come now. Hopefully my slate is wiped clean. Going through this time I'm a better person and will be the best S.O. to whomever my husband/boyfriend will be! And that's redemption.
Those of you who may have not seen this video please check it out and send to all you know: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyWcXCHchCM
Monday, December 7, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
The Whole Truth and Nothing but ...
Here's the deal ... about a week ago I caught my ex-fiance cheating on me and that hurts, but nothing hurt more than to be lied to about it. Days and hours leading up to me posting this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyWcXCHchCM on YouTube I begged and pleaded with my fiance to tell me the truth, he didn't. I practically all but told him that I knew what was going on, but he, as most of you know, insisted on his innocence.
That's why I posted the video. A lot of people have asked me why I would post something so personal and well the answer is .... because apparently that's the only way anyone gets the truth. Look at current events and celebrity news, Tiger Woods, former President Bill Clinton, Kobe Bryant all these men most likely denied the truth until a nationwide spotlight was shined on their transgression. It's then and only then are they willing to come forth with the truth and feel any kind of remorse. Why put yourself in the that position?? Why take it to that level.
Have mainstream media and celebrities really gone that far in our lives? Do we really put them on that high of a pedastal that not only are they influencing how we talk, dress, etc., but now they have an effect on our relationships? That's pretty incredible if you ask me.
I posted my very personal video on Wednesday November 25 and it wasn't until that next Sunday that I was told the truth about what really happened. What did he say? Well and the quick and dirty of it, no pun intended, is he indeed went out of our relationship and had sex with this other woman, it wasn't just kissing. When asked why he didn't stop all the cheating and inappropriate emailing he simply said, "I'm sorry, I don't know why. It was all just a game. I didn't and never wanted her; you're the one I love".
After only a few days of being posted on YouTube my, "Honeymoon is Over" video received 700 hits and while I appreciate everyone's support and love that's not why I posted. I needed and deserved the truth and he really made me go to that level.
My truth? Well, I still love him. I'd love nothing more than for him to get help for this problem he has with going outside of his relationships. Would I ever get back with him? I don't know. I've told him that he'd have a lot of people to make good with including me before something like that were to happen. I asked and he agreed to counseling which is a good thing. I guess time will only tell. My next step is Forgiveness.
And I do forgive him.
That's why I posted the video. A lot of people have asked me why I would post something so personal and well the answer is .... because apparently that's the only way anyone gets the truth. Look at current events and celebrity news, Tiger Woods, former President Bill Clinton, Kobe Bryant all these men most likely denied the truth until a nationwide spotlight was shined on their transgression. It's then and only then are they willing to come forth with the truth and feel any kind of remorse. Why put yourself in the that position?? Why take it to that level.
Have mainstream media and celebrities really gone that far in our lives? Do we really put them on that high of a pedastal that not only are they influencing how we talk, dress, etc., but now they have an effect on our relationships? That's pretty incredible if you ask me.
I posted my very personal video on Wednesday November 25 and it wasn't until that next Sunday that I was told the truth about what really happened. What did he say? Well and the quick and dirty of it, no pun intended, is he indeed went out of our relationship and had sex with this other woman, it wasn't just kissing. When asked why he didn't stop all the cheating and inappropriate emailing he simply said, "I'm sorry, I don't know why. It was all just a game. I didn't and never wanted her; you're the one I love".
After only a few days of being posted on YouTube my, "Honeymoon is Over" video received 700 hits and while I appreciate everyone's support and love that's not why I posted. I needed and deserved the truth and he really made me go to that level.
My truth? Well, I still love him. I'd love nothing more than for him to get help for this problem he has with going outside of his relationships. Would I ever get back with him? I don't know. I've told him that he'd have a lot of people to make good with including me before something like that were to happen. I asked and he agreed to counseling which is a good thing. I guess time will only tell. My next step is Forgiveness.
And I do forgive him.
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