OMG!!! Okay, so I'm so sorry I haven't written anything in about a week or so but WOW have I got an update ...
Quick recap: My love life - not so roMANtic these days. My S.O. and I aren't as close as we use to be; an attraction developed between me and a CCG (church camp guy); I'm confused and conflicted. And that's where the story picks up ...
So ... about a week ago I was chatting with the CCG on Facebook when all of a sudden I was booted off my own page. I figured, okay I took too long and my session timed out, right? WRONG. Someone had hacked into my facebook, booted me off and started chatting with the CCG. The convo with the CCG and the "HACKER" went something like this:
CCG: so what time do you want to meet up tomorrow
Hacker: I don't. You have to leave me alone. You should have left the second I told you I had a S.O. I hope you understand. I'm just really confused.
CCG: What? Are you kidding me?
Hacker: No. Please leave me alone
I couldn't believe what I was reading. Right away I figured my S.O. was the "hacker" and somehow he found out my password to Facebook and tried to run off the CCG. (Guys, don't do that, honestly. You just end up looking like a jerk to your woman.) I thought for sure it was the S.O. because I never once received a single friend request, message or comment from the CCG. CCG would tell me each time he sent one and I'd never get it. Also, it would never show up in my email alerts. So what did that tell me??? You guessed it, the hacker knew my email password!
Right away I went from pissed off at my S.O. to scared, to helpless, to an all out cry fest. It honestly felt like someone was watching every move I made. I tried to change my passwords to everything that night, but the hacker would change them back. He/she was truly watching my every keystroke.
At one point in the night I was chatting with myself on Facebook! Yea, you see I have both a personal page (Kimberly Torres) and a business page (K.T. Lynn) well K.T. Lynn popped up on my Kimberly page and started a convo! That was freaky! I nearly threw my laptop across the apartment.
This all happen on a Tuesday, I didn't get back online until the following Tuesday. I found out it wasn't my S.O. though all signs pointed to him, it was just someone who put a "Trojan" virus on my computer that allowed he/she to see my every password change and keystroke. WATCH OUT!!!
On the bright side: I have a hacker following! haha!!! At least they're reading this blog and my roMANtic redemption.
That's today's roMANtic redemption, until next time ...
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Men vs. Women - Who proposes??
Hey Everyone!
Here's a little food for thought ... when it come to the proposal, can either sex do the bended knee act??? That's the focus of the latest blog entry on http://www.chicktalkdallas.com/blog/?p=988. I encourage all to read about it.
Here are my two cents however ... I'm a traditional-modern woman. I enjoy when a man pays for dinner or opens my door; to that end I also feel a woman can take over the "bread-winning" in a household. That's my aim at least. Women should not have to live under the financial thumb of a man. Therefore, would I get down on one knee and ask a man to marry me?? ABSOLUTELY. I see no problem with me doing so.
However, there are a couple of things that most likely would keep a woman from doing that:
1. Uncertainty. It's hard to gauge a man's feelings and "where he's at" in the relationship. I believe that probably why you don't see woman doing the asking. Men, I know you feel the same way about some of us gals.
2. Goes against tradition. I get it. Trust me I get it. Women love being center of attention and to turn that on the man wouldn't be a popular concept. What do I say to that?? Men need to feel special too. They love attention just as much as women.
That's my RoMANtic Redemption...until next time....LOVE IS IN THE AIR, SO TAKE IT IN.
Here's a little food for thought ... when it come to the proposal, can either sex do the bended knee act??? That's the focus of the latest blog entry on http://www.chicktalkdallas.com/blog/?p=988. I encourage all to read about it.
Here are my two cents however ... I'm a traditional-modern woman. I enjoy when a man pays for dinner or opens my door; to that end I also feel a woman can take over the "bread-winning" in a household. That's my aim at least. Women should not have to live under the financial thumb of a man. Therefore, would I get down on one knee and ask a man to marry me?? ABSOLUTELY. I see no problem with me doing so.
However, there are a couple of things that most likely would keep a woman from doing that:
1. Uncertainty. It's hard to gauge a man's feelings and "where he's at" in the relationship. I believe that probably why you don't see woman doing the asking. Men, I know you feel the same way about some of us gals.
2. Goes against tradition. I get it. Trust me I get it. Women love being center of attention and to turn that on the man wouldn't be a popular concept. What do I say to that?? Men need to feel special too. They love attention just as much as women.
That's my RoMANtic Redemption...until next time....LOVE IS IN THE AIR, SO TAKE IT IN.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Part 2: To Cheat or NOT to Cheat, that's QUITE A QUESTION ...
First off, thanks to everyone for reading my blog and not being harsh or too harsh with your comments. I absolutely appreciate any and all feedback. Like I've said before, I'm going through a transition period in my life - basically, I"m becoming LESS of an emotional moron and learning to put others' feelings before my own (NOT CHEAT). Remember, this blog is called RoMANtic Redemption, a journey I'm inviting everyone to take with me. That said, let's get on with part 2....
Let me preface this entry with this: I've NOT physically cheated on my S.O. (Significant other) with the CCG (Church camp guy), let's just get that straight. Though in some circles the "Text-ship" I've engaged in may count as a form of cheating, I get it. Baby steps people. Keep in mind that before my current relationship I physically cheated on EVERY boyfriend.
Okay, so like I said at the end of the last entry, I finally 'fessed up to my S.O. about the CCG (Church camp guy). How did I start that convo, like this: "I need your help. I need your prayers. I'm about to reveal a hard truth to you and I just want you to listen and then we can discuss". In a nutshell, I came clean about my true feelings for the CCG, how I did go to lunch with him and how I'm not certain about our relationship now (with my S.O.).
I told my S.O. how since getting back from church and even a little before I'd been feeling "uncertain" about my feelings for him. For some reason I was becoming more agitated and upset at every little thing. However, those feelings aren't what prompted me to look elsewhere, in fact this CCG came out of nowhere. Honestly.
In the year and a half that me and my S.O. have been together, I'd never looked at another man romantically. Sure, I'd appreciate a good looking guy passing by, but never wanted to leave my S.O. for anyone. I found these feelings for the CCG strange and yet divine. In one convo with the CCG, and let me say that I talked to him about all this too, in fact he reads this blog also, however in one of our phone conversations I questioned my feelings towards him. He told me that he'd been praying to God to send him his "special someone" and feels that it's me. In the same breath he told me, "this is happening for one of two reasons, Kimberly, one: I'm just a "speed-bump" or test from God or two: I'm a "change in direction" that God wants you to take".
What do you do with that, right? Well, I did tell my S.O. about that convo and a major verbal fight that I won't get into (some things need to remain private) he agreed to let me go and figure this all out. Of course, when I say "he let me go" that means we we're technicially no longer S.O.s however, we do live together and still "act" like we're together so it's hard to really let go to figure all this out. I just need his and everyone's prayers at this point.
Like I've said, I'm going through a major change and transition in my life - from a girl who liked to play with boys to a woman who's looking for a man. I'm learning how to treat a good man, like my S.O.
As soon as I figure this out you all will know. Please send your prayers and leave comments. (Thank you Chelsea and Jared for your comments)
I leave you with this thought: Sure, it would be easy to "do the right thing" and stay with my S.O. and leave the CCG (church camp guy), but could I? Right now, I think if I did that I'd probably still try to sneak a phone call, meeting or text here and there with the CCG and that solves nothing. Plus, I continue to hurt my S.O. - an incredible, DAMN good-looking guy.
Chelsea, I appreciate yours words about my not being married so now's the time to figure things out before making a major mistake (not to say that my S.O. would be). Your words really resonated with me. I just know that divorce WILL NOT be an option for me so I'm happy to go through all this craziness and actually I believe things will work out as God intended.
That's today's RoMANtic Redemption, until next time....
Don't forget about Surprise! You're Engaged - I plan and videotape wedding proposals so give me a holler. www.SurpriseYouAreEngaged.com
Let me preface this entry with this: I've NOT physically cheated on my S.O. (Significant other) with the CCG (Church camp guy), let's just get that straight. Though in some circles the "Text-ship" I've engaged in may count as a form of cheating, I get it. Baby steps people. Keep in mind that before my current relationship I physically cheated on EVERY boyfriend.
Okay, so like I said at the end of the last entry, I finally 'fessed up to my S.O. about the CCG (Church camp guy). How did I start that convo, like this: "I need your help. I need your prayers. I'm about to reveal a hard truth to you and I just want you to listen and then we can discuss". In a nutshell, I came clean about my true feelings for the CCG, how I did go to lunch with him and how I'm not certain about our relationship now (with my S.O.).
I told my S.O. how since getting back from church and even a little before I'd been feeling "uncertain" about my feelings for him. For some reason I was becoming more agitated and upset at every little thing. However, those feelings aren't what prompted me to look elsewhere, in fact this CCG came out of nowhere. Honestly.
In the year and a half that me and my S.O. have been together, I'd never looked at another man romantically. Sure, I'd appreciate a good looking guy passing by, but never wanted to leave my S.O. for anyone. I found these feelings for the CCG strange and yet divine. In one convo with the CCG, and let me say that I talked to him about all this too, in fact he reads this blog also, however in one of our phone conversations I questioned my feelings towards him. He told me that he'd been praying to God to send him his "special someone" and feels that it's me. In the same breath he told me, "this is happening for one of two reasons, Kimberly, one: I'm just a "speed-bump" or test from God or two: I'm a "change in direction" that God wants you to take".
What do you do with that, right? Well, I did tell my S.O. about that convo and a major verbal fight that I won't get into (some things need to remain private) he agreed to let me go and figure this all out. Of course, when I say "he let me go" that means we we're technicially no longer S.O.s however, we do live together and still "act" like we're together so it's hard to really let go to figure all this out. I just need his and everyone's prayers at this point.
Like I've said, I'm going through a major change and transition in my life - from a girl who liked to play with boys to a woman who's looking for a man. I'm learning how to treat a good man, like my S.O.
As soon as I figure this out you all will know. Please send your prayers and leave comments. (Thank you Chelsea and Jared for your comments)
I leave you with this thought: Sure, it would be easy to "do the right thing" and stay with my S.O. and leave the CCG (church camp guy), but could I? Right now, I think if I did that I'd probably still try to sneak a phone call, meeting or text here and there with the CCG and that solves nothing. Plus, I continue to hurt my S.O. - an incredible, DAMN good-looking guy.
Chelsea, I appreciate yours words about my not being married so now's the time to figure things out before making a major mistake (not to say that my S.O. would be). Your words really resonated with me. I just know that divorce WILL NOT be an option for me so I'm happy to go through all this craziness and actually I believe things will work out as God intended.
That's today's RoMANtic Redemption, until next time....
Don't forget about Surprise! You're Engaged - I plan and videotape wedding proposals so give me a holler. www.SurpriseYouAreEngaged.com
Friday, August 14, 2009
To Cheat or NOT to Cheat that's QUITE A QUESTION ...
So this blog is dedicated to all my readers who keep asking me if my S.O. "read that last blog entry?" Yes he did and here's what happened ....
My blog about church camp and the guy I was attracted to was an absolute shock to my S.O. He didn't read it for a couple of days after posting, but when he did I quickly got a phone call asking "to talk". Wasn't good. He was taken aback, caught off-guard; no I hadn't talked it over with him before I posted. (Note to self, always check with the S.O. before a provacative posting)
Anyhow, we agreed we'd "talk later about things". Later, we did talk things out and basically I smoothed things over saying there was nothing to worry about. Well...there was SOME truth to that.
Here's the thing, at camp I was interested, there was a certain attraction to this guy and I DID tell him that I had a boyfriend (S.O). I then slipped him my biz card in hopes of seeing him at church and maybe even introducing to one of my single friends. That was totally my plan.
Well, when we got back from camp I invited this guy out to lunch, hoping that another friend was going to join us - she didn't. So we went.
----------- Note to the reader: Most folks who regularly read my blog know that I'm completely honest and real with what I write, I don't plan to change that. All I ask is that you don't judge me --------------
At lunch, we talked about camp, past relationships, church, etc. In short, that attraction returned. I ended up telling him about my feelings and how those feelings are causing me to question my current relationship with my S.O. He told me he had the same feelings. Yikes!
We pretty much lefted at that however, in the following days, we started a sort of "Text-ship" and convos started getting a little more intense. We went as far as to talk about wanting to become exclusive which meant me leaving my S.O.
That texting and those feelings made me more or less cold when it came to intimacy (not sex) with my S.O. The other day I finally came clean about this guy to my S.O.... TO BE CONTINUED
That's today RoMANtic Redemption ... Until next time
Don't forget about Surprise! You're Engaged - I plan and videotape wedding proposals
My blog about church camp and the guy I was attracted to was an absolute shock to my S.O. He didn't read it for a couple of days after posting, but when he did I quickly got a phone call asking "to talk". Wasn't good. He was taken aback, caught off-guard; no I hadn't talked it over with him before I posted. (Note to self, always check with the S.O. before a provacative posting)
Anyhow, we agreed we'd "talk later about things". Later, we did talk things out and basically I smoothed things over saying there was nothing to worry about. Well...there was SOME truth to that.
Here's the thing, at camp I was interested, there was a certain attraction to this guy and I DID tell him that I had a boyfriend (S.O). I then slipped him my biz card in hopes of seeing him at church and maybe even introducing to one of my single friends. That was totally my plan.
Well, when we got back from camp I invited this guy out to lunch, hoping that another friend was going to join us - she didn't. So we went.
----------- Note to the reader: Most folks who regularly read my blog know that I'm completely honest and real with what I write, I don't plan to change that. All I ask is that you don't judge me --------------
At lunch, we talked about camp, past relationships, church, etc. In short, that attraction returned. I ended up telling him about my feelings and how those feelings are causing me to question my current relationship with my S.O. He told me he had the same feelings. Yikes!
We pretty much lefted at that however, in the following days, we started a sort of "Text-ship" and convos started getting a little more intense. We went as far as to talk about wanting to become exclusive which meant me leaving my S.O.
That texting and those feelings made me more or less cold when it came to intimacy (not sex) with my S.O. The other day I finally came clean about this guy to my S.O.... TO BE CONTINUED
That's today RoMANtic Redemption ... Until next time
Don't forget about Surprise! You're Engaged - I plan and videotape wedding proposals
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Confessions of a Former Cheater
Recently, I found myself wanting to cheat on my current S.O. I was at camp, away from home and my S.O. and I nearly fell back into my old ways. There was this guy at camp, not nearly at cute as my guy, but I wanted to kiss him and even thought about leaving my S.O. so I could be single again. Can you believe it?!?!?!? Yea, all this at church camp! Are thoughts like these normal?
"Once a cheater, always a cheater", is that always the case? As I've mentioned before, cheating on my old S.O.'s WAS my favorite past-time. It's not like I was a man-eater or anything. Taking a page from a "man's book", I simply grew tired of my former dudes and searched for a way out.
Well, to be completely honest, I think I grew tired of all the hand holding, private kissing, movie watching, romancy-type things. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE kissing boys I just wanted to kiss more than one. : )
My tiredness would creep up right at 3 months of dating. That's when my eye started wandering. Hey, in my defense, I always told the guys about my cheating ways prior to getting exclusive with them. After 3 months, I'd cheat, tell my S.O. the truth about it and let him decide whether or not he wanted to stay with me. Most of the time, the guys stayed with me. Then by the 8 month of dating, I'd finally end it with them; the cheatng slowly became too much. That's been my routine for the last 13 years of my life ... until now.
My current S.O. has capture and secured my attention for a good year and a half. Though I've been tempted, I haven't cheated. Why you ask? Couple reasons: 1. I'm a God fearing woman now 2. My S.O. does too much for me to cheat on him
Anytime I think about kissing another boy or wanting to leave my S.O. I think about all the great things he does for me, the unconditional love he shows me and how damn good lookin he is.
I'm 28 years old and I'm in love - first time ever. I've never felt like this before - leaving this man would devastate me and I'd be hard pressed to find something or someone else who makes me feel this way.
Like tonight, our laptop completely crapped out on us. This laptop holds everything for our business, Surprise! You're Engaged. We broke out our back up laptop - but couldn't find the battery for it. What does he do? Jumps up off the couch, heads to the nearest radio shack buys a whole new battery pack and brings home dinner. "I knew you needed a laptop for work and I didn't want to see you disappointed," was all he said when he got home.
Who would cheat on this man?
That's your RoMANtic Redemption for this week, until next time ...
"Once a cheater, always a cheater", is that always the case? As I've mentioned before, cheating on my old S.O.'s WAS my favorite past-time. It's not like I was a man-eater or anything. Taking a page from a "man's book", I simply grew tired of my former dudes and searched for a way out.
Well, to be completely honest, I think I grew tired of all the hand holding, private kissing, movie watching, romancy-type things. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE kissing boys I just wanted to kiss more than one. : )
My tiredness would creep up right at 3 months of dating. That's when my eye started wandering. Hey, in my defense, I always told the guys about my cheating ways prior to getting exclusive with them. After 3 months, I'd cheat, tell my S.O. the truth about it and let him decide whether or not he wanted to stay with me. Most of the time, the guys stayed with me. Then by the 8 month of dating, I'd finally end it with them; the cheatng slowly became too much. That's been my routine for the last 13 years of my life ... until now.
My current S.O. has capture and secured my attention for a good year and a half. Though I've been tempted, I haven't cheated. Why you ask? Couple reasons: 1. I'm a God fearing woman now 2. My S.O. does too much for me to cheat on him
Anytime I think about kissing another boy or wanting to leave my S.O. I think about all the great things he does for me, the unconditional love he shows me and how damn good lookin he is.
I'm 28 years old and I'm in love - first time ever. I've never felt like this before - leaving this man would devastate me and I'd be hard pressed to find something or someone else who makes me feel this way.
Like tonight, our laptop completely crapped out on us. This laptop holds everything for our business, Surprise! You're Engaged. We broke out our back up laptop - but couldn't find the battery for it. What does he do? Jumps up off the couch, heads to the nearest radio shack buys a whole new battery pack and brings home dinner. "I knew you needed a laptop for work and I didn't want to see you disappointed," was all he said when he got home.
Who would cheat on this man?
That's your RoMANtic Redemption for this week, until next time ...
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Get me Engaged before my 10 year reunion!!!!
Hello all,
Sorry it's been a bit since my last blog about me and my S.O., but this one is probably the most important one yet. I need your help. I'm 28 years old and my 10 year high school reunion is around the corner - October. I'm neither married or engaged so, we need your help. Well, actually, my S.O. needs your help. He needs you to send him wedding engagement ideas.
As most of you are aware, I own a business called Surprise! You're Engaged - basically I plan and videotape wedding proposals. So we've seen and heard them all. My S.O. helps me out with this business and thus needs an extra special, creative way to propose to me.
Help him and me and send your ideas to Facebook.com/Jordan.Gray3. We plan to videotape our proposal so the winning idea will be posted and given a huge thanks!!!
Sorry it's been a bit since my last blog about me and my S.O., but this one is probably the most important one yet. I need your help. I'm 28 years old and my 10 year high school reunion is around the corner - October. I'm neither married or engaged so, we need your help. Well, actually, my S.O. needs your help. He needs you to send him wedding engagement ideas.
As most of you are aware, I own a business called Surprise! You're Engaged - basically I plan and videotape wedding proposals. So we've seen and heard them all. My S.O. helps me out with this business and thus needs an extra special, creative way to propose to me.
Help him and me and send your ideas to Facebook.com/Jordan.Gray3. We plan to videotape our proposal so the winning idea will be posted and given a huge thanks!!!
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